Post by Keith Heitmann on Mar 19, 2003 2:08:06 GMT -5
Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently
and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we feel your pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism.
I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
My personal reply follows:
I agee, Canada is a "sorry" country....but the sword cuts two ways:
I'm sorry your people come here for health care because your socialized medicine system is so poor.
I'm sorry all the aircraft you make are carbon copies of U.S. designed aircraft.
I'm sorry the cars you drive were all designed in Detroit.
I'm sorry your dollar is only worth 60 to 80 cents on the U.S. dollar depending market.
I'm sorry you have a group of french activists screaming to get away from you and wanting to form their own country.
I'm sorry that you have to rely on the good will of U.S. tourists to for a good bulk of your country's income in most of your provinces.
I'm sorry you have all the trees, but we got the part of North America with all the oil.
And finally on behalf of all Americans, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism.
I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently
and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we feel your pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism.
I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
My personal reply follows:
I agee, Canada is a "sorry" country....but the sword cuts two ways:
I'm sorry your people come here for health care because your socialized medicine system is so poor.
I'm sorry all the aircraft you make are carbon copies of U.S. designed aircraft.
I'm sorry the cars you drive were all designed in Detroit.
I'm sorry your dollar is only worth 60 to 80 cents on the U.S. dollar depending market.
I'm sorry you have a group of french activists screaming to get away from you and wanting to form their own country.
I'm sorry that you have to rely on the good will of U.S. tourists to for a good bulk of your country's income in most of your provinces.
I'm sorry you have all the trees, but we got the part of North America with all the oil.
And finally on behalf of all Americans, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism.
I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.